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Accentuate the Negative

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well as we all know, i am a man of great ideas.
especially when it comes to tv show ideas.
(who could forget 'space fight'?)

so, for day number 3 in 30in30, i am extremely pleased to present you with my latest idea..

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE 2: PROUD TO BE PREJUDICED.

set immediately after the first, this tv drama (soon to be turned into one of those lousy 'converted from tv' books), sees the return of all your favourite late romantic characters!

and guess what, it's on BBC2!



mr darcy and his lovely wife enjoy a lovely moment watching their slave being forced to eat nails.




staring at her aryan family heritage, with immense pride.



'WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'there's a black in my house''?


'PROUD TO BE PREJUDICED', yet another TV period drama for BBC2.

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in other news, i went to the library and revised Re with grace today.

there was a giant rain storm, so i took a photo of it:

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Current Music:
Massive Attack
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[firstly, i have decided to take part in 30 in 30, which means i have to update with an interesting entry for every day of june.]

today, me and john were faced with the time old problem of 'what shall we do?'
well after spending half an hour brainstorming and browsing 'time out', we still had no idea.
we had no money, and most 'free' things had been done already.

so we decided we were going to make some money.
'go to work?' no!

we went treasure hunting!

now, if you've ever been treasure hunting, then you'd know the first thing you need is a treasure map.

so we found ourselves a treasure map:

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now as you can see, the route was perilous, and we were both dead scared.
but we armed ourselves with a compass and got on our way.

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here is the route we took to the treasure cave.

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now the first tell tale sign of where we were was the dragon.
we had to sneak past it very carefully, as we didn't want to get eaten.

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around 30 minutes later we came upon the mermaid, perching on a rock to attract lonely sailors.

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as you can see it's wearing trousers. this is a trick, one of the trouser legs is filled with his tail while the other leg is filled with polystyrene. cunning ey?
(it was a pretty ugly mermaid aswell, it had a beard.)

luckily we weren't lulled by it's radiant charms, and with a bit of navigation from john, we continued on our quest.

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next up was death island, and where else to find it but in arnos grove.
we knew we were approaching when we could smell the scent of burning canadians (whilst burning, they smell kind of like waffles/bbq ribs).

we approach it.
and boy does it look deadly.

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here we are, walking all the way around it, making sure to follow the map.

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since dolphins were hard to spot, the next thing we found was also the last.

THE TREASURE CAVE.

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but now for some bad news.
obviously some other budding treasure hunters had also had this idea, and there was no treasure left.
so we left the cave feeling disheartened, very tired and kind of hungry.

but on the walk back, i realised something.
even though we never found the material treasure, we realised true friendship, and what's more valuable than that?
john, however, didn't share the same ideas, and thought it would be funnier to see me burnt to death.

but never the less, our walk still had a reward at the end of it, for when we got home it was time for the crystal maze!

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and i tried to take a picture of myself with my feet.

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and one last thing, grave robbing is a serious crime.

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* * *
revision is so much fun that today me and rob decided to do it together.

and what more fun can you have than chemistry?

if there was an obscenity strong enough to describe my feelings towards it, you bet i'd be using it.

angry words,
not sex words.

* * *
john, sally, steph and i all went to trent park today for a walk.
it was very nice.

at the beginning john got really keen and climbed this tree:

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but then he became a hermit recluse.

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then we found this swing that none of us could get on except for sally.
after 5 minutes it hurt her arse.
(notice steph in the corner looking moody)

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me and sally walked ahead and left the other two to mingle and have speed-sex.

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and then we found a water tap. (how exciting!)

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this was when we met philip's cousin on sally's shoulder.
he didn't have a name, and is now deceased.
form of death: crushed by a rock
perpetrator of murder: john alexander finch.

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then we walked around the water garden.
afterwards we found my true loves.
DUCKS.

oswold, george and tom.

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and we had this argument whether this duck, who was white with grey feathers at the tip and had a black face, was a swan or a goose.
me and john said goose the girls opted for swan.
it was a heated debate.

::EDIT::
[last time i went trent park it was that kind of duck that attacked the little duck.
so it must have been a goose because swans aren't mean.
and grace said it was a goose and she's this giant bird expert:

shaking their bits to the hits says:
THEY'RE geese.
shaking their bits to the hits says:
a special type of geese.
shaking their bits to the hits says:
i told you last time haha

AND

shaking their bits to the hits says:
do you wanna know how i know all about this type of geese?
jimmy says:
ok
shaking their bits to the hits says:
cos they always shit all over the golf course so i hear my parents complain about them constantly. ]

::EDIT NUMBER 2::
[originally it said 'canadian geese' but then i found it they wasn't the swans we were looking at.
so i changed it to 'special type'.
also she's not a bird expert.
and steph's proved me wrong, see comments.
SO I ADMIT IT.
I'M A FRAUD.]

then we stumbled upon this cool catepillar hanging from a tree.
he told sally his name was philip.

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then we hung around at the cafe and then we went back to mine.
steph and john played 'interactive parables' and 'one nation under god' (american games).
THEY ARE REALLY GOOD.

sally also hurt her mouth because of her braces being tightened.

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then we watched clips from tommy and they got bored.
then they had to go.

and then me and john jammed on the guitar and the saxophone and the cello and the piano.
and we sniffed glue.

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and then we did yoga from my dad's yoga dvd.
i couldn't do it, i hurt myself after about 5 seconds.

THE END.



EXCEPT ONE MORE THING.

how great is this picture?!

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OH AND SOME EXTRA PICTURES FROM SALLY:

buds.

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this rock we hid behind.
except it had well loads of bugs and i well hate bugs.

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me in this place.

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Current Music:
smog
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